Light
It is 6am and the sun is barely peaking in over the water. I can’t see it but I can see the light. My grandma’s windows are draped with William Shakespeare curtains that remind me of a Victorian home in England. The sky is turning blue from black. I love this little living room. Her house holds a standard living room and a family living room. I’ve grown to make this one my hiding place. At 6am it is the altar I rest my whole body in. My heart falls out onto the colored carpet. My prayer: Oh God, arrest our hearts!!! 2024 has slowed down for me. The first part of the year swallowed up time. I think I am finally catching my breath and there are only 2 months left. It feels good. Gracing time 3 hours behind LA rush. The luxury of slowing down. The luxury of sitting still. The luxury of praying out loud. The truth is, someone in a 3rd world country is sitting in a tiny hole of a wall, with no carpet, no curtains, no blue sky, no Bible, no notebook and pen. Just hope. Sitting inside of their chest. At the dusk of dawn, at the corner of their 4 walls basking in the light of seeing the face of God. And we are sleeping in the luxury of our beds, slumbered at the time passing away. There will be no excuses. We will have many and on the other side of God’s ever so just kindness awaits His wrath. Oh God, arrest our hearts!!! I’ve adjusted to the Hawaii time but my body is an early bird so I am still wide eyed every morning. Even if I am dragging myself to this altar. I sit in this room quietly and I am filled with hope. The light still comes through the windows. It does not hide itself from us. Literally and figuratively. That is who Jesus is—- He is coming in at the altar we’ve made and resting on us. We get to an age where we can no longer hide behind parents, institutions, lovers, vocation, silence, trauma or even God. There comes this moment where Jesus says: you know who I am right?
Light.
And you must step into the light. You must become visible to Him, but also to yourself. Sometimes it is painful looking into the light after all the years of living underground. You will want to close your eyes but you must not. You will think you are going blind, but don’t look away. You couldn’t see before anyway— let Him illuminate.
Do not die with your eyes closed to yourself or the world because it is more convenient and comfortable. Step into the light!
I want to see the beauty of who God has made me. I want to see the beauty of who God is. Don’t you????
The Lord is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 27:1
But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus, His son, purifies us from all sin.
1 John 1:7
Lately this has been my heart’s song. Enjoy!
I am writing you love letters from Hilo.
I pray you read this with hope and love. With joy and expectation— knowing Jesus loves you but more importantly He needs you to grow up— in your word reading, praying, believing, hoping, looking for His return.
All my love,
G.
